Fight for Life

I GUESS THERE IS ONLY SO FAR I CAN GO……..

I guess there is only so far I can go…. but I don’t know m limit…..
I guess there is only so much you can do, but always find something else…
I guess time matters, but I lost track of it a long time ago.

A friend of mine wrote something like that in a poem.  I was fascinated by his use of words.  He made me feel as though he knew something about the world that I did not. But it was when he told me « I gonna die baby, and you know it… I know it ! I am not afraid for me, but my mom ?  Can she handle it ?  Who will be there for her ?  See, I let her down and I know it… I can’t fix it this time !!!  I close my eyes and I die a thousand times, only to open them awaiting to die again.  I’m selfish Tyree, because I am thinking about MY mom and her pain…  I am thinking about MY mom and how she will live without me to help her.  Time don’t matter when you think like that… Time don’t matter when everything you have ever loved is dying before your very eyes.  It ain’t me Tyree, it’s my mom… she dying with me, I see it.  And even though I said it was impossible, I know now that I would spend my life in this prison if it meant that she would smile again.  Understand ?  See, that is what I meant by I don’t see any limit, for her, there’s none… that is what I meant by I always find something else.  You never realize how much life is worth until you see it through the eyes of someone who really loves you… Yeah, time does matter, but it non-existant when you are trying to save the world…..Tyree, my mom is my world !  But, it’s like I said, I know I am gonna die, and just in case I lose my train of though when that moment comes, give her this and let her know how much I loved her….let her know I tried ».

I kept this letter and I never knew what I was going to do with it, until today.  Robert was not the only one with a mother…. Remember that, okay ?

Respectfully Yours
Tyra
September 14, 2010

FFL… (FIGHT FOR LIFE)