FIGHT FOR LIFE

I KNOW FOR A FACT THAT THERE IS NO OTHER SON

ON THIS EARTH LIKE THE SON I HAVE

--Jackie Smith--

 

 

Friday, I received two letters from a Miss Jackie Smith. One was to me, the other one was for her son. She didn't leave them a return address, or tell me what she had in mind for these letters... so, I take it upon myself to share those with u all. And I truly hope that she touches u the way she has touched me....

 

“Dear Tyree,

I did not know what to do with it, it was burning my hands. So, I sent it to you. What I wrote ? I do not know what to make of it.... it is what it is. And, now it is yours.

I gave in to the rage of my own passion ! However, I meant everything I said. I hope you understand what that means.

I find myself going through all sorts of emotional changes. I find myself calling the world a lie, as it does sometimes give us more than we can bare !... Life can be cruel as any modern day nightmare. For me, that means life is hell and I wish it to stop !

I wonder do you ever feel this way ? I read your story, how do you lose everything and still keep on living ?

Anyway, I am inspired by you. But, is inspiration enough ? Probably not, but I do want you to know that I believe in you. Your words have been like a light, a source of energy that keeps my heart together --- And that's something, right ?

You've called us “Allies in suffering”, and I can see that. Our hands linked together – ALL OF US ! From those that have told you their stories, to all those that have been murdered by states and countries all over the world... to the families they have left behind. Yes indeed, I can truly see it, and it is an awesome sight to behold.

Tyree, sometimes, you really do the impossible !... I mean you have painted the perfect picture. And I thank you for that.”

 

Standing still...

And waiting,

Jackie

November 4, 2011

Atlanta Georgia

 

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

 

“Dear Son,

This is a letter that I know that you will never get, yet one I have to write. Perhaps I am a coward because doing this this way seems easier... maybe for the both of us, but certainly for me.

I have counted down the days since you received your date. Damn, how they have flown by since then? I have listen to you lie to me, in fact I have let you because the truth would have killed me, I am scared too baby !!! More than you will ever know.
I pass through this house that seems to be “marked” with your essence at every turn, and the memories...oh baby the memories, they break me. I can't tell you how many times I have begged God and the devil... I have offered up my own soul so many times. And, I am still trying. I don't know how to stop.

I question the world, because I never saw that day coming when you were a child. I mean who could have told me that I would one day witness the death of my own child ? WHO COULD HAVE TOLD ME THAT SHIT ?!?! WHO ?!?

I love you so much, but right now I just hate you because of what you have done to yourself ! I hate you for what you are doing to me. I will live this life lost because all my love will have gone with you !

I know that no one will understand, but to me you will always be the greatest person in the world ! You and your silly glasses and your corny jokes? You who drowns your mother in rainbow kisses, you who stole her anger and turned it into pure joy with your never ending hugs. “STOP!” I'd say, “NEVER ANGEL FACE!” you would reply. You were always my joy. Nothing in this world could top what you have meant to me... that is why I hate you ! How can you leave me ? How could you do this ?

I just don't know what to say, how to act, or what to do. I am here writing, but I don't feel like I am saying much. I feel like a fool, but we all make fools out of ourselves when we are hurt or desperate, I am both.

I needed to scream so I can be there to smile for you today... I needed to cry so that my tears will be bled out by the time I am in front of you. If I could slap you, I would. If I could hold and kiss you, I would do that too gladly, because as crazy as you make me, I know for a fact that there is no other son on this Earth like the son I have. I mean that, Jason !

I have no message, I just miss you already. I have no words except I love you... I love you... I love you ! Until the end of time !!! It hurts to be here right now, but I know that there is no other place that I could or would ever want to be than by your side... I'll never leave !

This letter maybe my greatest work... or my greatest regret, but either way it is done. It has served its purpose. The closing is actually our beginning of this day. So, I won't say goodbye, I'm just say, I'll see you in a bit. I am on my way boy, with bells on.

 

Love You,

Jackie Smith

November 3, 2011

Atlanta Georgia

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

 

I also share my response to Miss Smith...

 

“Miss Smith,

I thank you so much for your letter. At first I wasn't sure what to do with it. I wasn't sure that you would appreciate your private thoughts being posted all over my page. But there was another part of me that feels like your words were meant for all those that read me as much as they were meant for me.

No doubt, life is soooooo hard, it tests us in many different ways. But, nothing is beyond us. If it was, you would not be here today,

I believe in you too ! I believe that you will be an inspiration for many in ur own rite. You probably already are, you just haven't been paying attention.

I lost a brother to Death Row some years ago, and it was the most heartbreaking thing I have ever gone through. Yeah, I questioned life... God even.... I also, begged and tried to make deals with the devil. But in the end, it wasn't meant to be. I felt like I died too... I still feel that way in truth. And what I have tried to do is turn that hurt into something that will help others. No, you don't just pick up the pieces of your life and move on. No, you take time to grieve and heal, then you take that passion... all that hurt, pain and anger and turn it into something that other people can use. Pain and suffering are lessons unlike no other. People may not know where you have been, but they will know that you have been somewhere. And they will listen.

If I have been an inspiration to anybody, it is because you have inspired me. Caring is not an easy thing to do. Sure, it sounds simple, but it takes a lot. I do what I can out of respect for all those who have done for me, my brother, my mom and dad, my sister... my daughters... my wife ! Because they all have needed help, and someone has been there. I love everybody, at least I try to. I am just paying what I owe.

That is what we are : “allies in suffering”, anybody that has ever lost someone, who has ever been a victim of injustice, they are apart of our family ! Together we can change a lot ! If we can suffer together, we can achieve and celebrate together.

Miss Smith, I am one man, but I represent the 2700 plus people on my page... our arms are linked together... we stand next to you in silent protest of the impending murder of your son. And no matter what happens, you will never be alone again, you have family now !... We'll pick up the pieces together,

 

Until the End of time

We are many... We are One,

Tyree

November 8, 2011

02:45