Fight for Life

SOME DAYS I AM SO SAD.......

 

Some days I am so sad .... sometimes I feel to be at war with my own heart .... sometimes I just wish for more than this world can give !!!! And it is a simple thing... forgiveness !!!

 

That is what I got up expecting years ago when I was old enough to understand what the word meant.... and it was what I expected yesterday for all the people of the world who just plan ole messed up. Perhaps, I am the biggest fool alive because I still hope for it, even though I know it is impossible, but to not hope... I might as well die, because too see thousands... millions of men and women die; what human being could just sit and watch and comply and justify it and be able to look at themselves in the mirror ?

 

I do not judge, oh no, I just speak from my heart, because that is all I have to give you all ! My point of view is purely emotional. It comes from spending time in the halls of Death Row... It comes from watching my brother be killed in this system... it comes from watching officer urinates in the coffee, it comes from watching inmates become sick (some died) via eating bad food. It comes from the days when I myself ate salami that had spoiled turned green on the edges. It just comes from knowing.

 

I will never come with facts and numbers to throw down your throats, instead I will come with the truth of life in this war zone. Perhaps some of us deserve to suffer a little bit, maybe even a lot. And I am willing to do that, if not for myself than for the Novellas and Donna Chamberlains of the world. I just don't believe that a parent should have to watch his/her child die.

 

I am not a saint, I am just tired... I think we all should be.

 

However, I do know too that one cannot expect another to sympathize with something they know nothing about, that is why your learn, it's too important not to !

 

A friend of mine was to be killed last week, and he asked me “Damn, Shea, what you think about it ?” I told him : “I think everything will be just fine... no matter what happens, everything will be just fine, I promise you that.” I meant it to !

 

I am not afraid to fail, but this is one fight I expect to win... I'm willing to die for what I believe in.. I BELIEVE IN LIFE !!! Not just for me, but for everybody, from the young to the old, from the innocent to the guilty... I would stand up for my enemies even !

 

I don't event know what I am trying to say, I just know what I am feeling... it's the loudest scream... the deepest pain... the strongest pride... it's my shame ---- It's that feeling of being alive. I just want everybody to know what that whole thing feels like.

FFL !!! ( FIGHT FOR LIFE !!!). And if you are already, turn to your side, I am right beside you.

 

Respectuflly

Tyra

August 23, 2010

Livingston Texas